Sadly, not all weddings end in happily ever afters, and no amount of pricey honeymoons and horse-drawn carriages can ease things along if the couple just aren’t well-suited.
This was unfortunately the case for Khoirul Anam, from Indonesia, who thought he’d finally found the one in the form of a regular old rice cooker.
Now, I’ve been hearing good things about rice cookers for a while, but can’t imagine being so enamoured by one that I’d drape a veil over it and declare my eternal devotion. I guess I’ll have to try it first.
Khoirul on the other hand was initially absolutely smitten by his rice cooker, and went as far as to marry it in a full-blown ceremony.
In photographs shared to Facebook, Khoirul could be seen signing the necessary documents, and looking proud as he kissed his new bride on its erm, beautiful lid.
Of course, being a non-sentient kitchen object, the rice cooker presumably isn’t the chattiest of life companions. However, besotted Khoirul still found plenty to admire in his plastic princess, gushing over its useful properties.
In a Facebook post, Khoirul praised the little cooker for being ‘white, loving, obedient’, accurately adding, ‘without you my rice is not cooked’. Admittedly, this isn’t exactly the sort of romantic proclamation a girl dreams about, but I can relate to wanting to be with someone who shares my appreciation for food.
As many of us know all too well, the course of true love never did run smooth, and – like Romeo and Juliet before them – Khoirul and his new wife were fated to share just a few short days together.
In a recent update, Khoirul revealed that he had decided to call it quits just four days into the marriage as it would only cook rice, declaring:
It’s unclear whether or not Khoirul and the rice cooker will remain friends after all they’ve been through – perhaps sharing amicable custody of a bag of rice – or whether things will just be really awkward every time he opens the kitchen cupboard.
After all, nobody likes to run into their ex at the best of times, let alone when they’re rummaging about for cereal first thing in the morning.
All the best Khoirul and mysterious new divorcee Ms Rice Cooker, who couldn’t be reached for comment at this time. I hope they both find what they’re looking for.
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